ST Online Relection #1: My Internship Thus Far!

I am student teaching at Triton High School [a pseudonym to protect precious identities] with Ms. Harvey [yet another pseudonym].  Triton is a 6-D high school that is full of life and energy.  Past observation courses brought me into Triton and I was elated to hear that I would be back as a student teacher. There is just something about Triton that makes it feel like home.

Ms. Harvey has been teaching at Triton for about fifteen years and she has been in the profession for twenty-one years!   She is an eccentric individual who is very passionate about her work.  Her warm and caring personality put me right at ease and her blunt nature eliminates any concerns that I might have had about faulty communication.

My first day at my placement was January 3^rd which was a district in-service day.  Ms. Harvey and I felt that it would be best for me to begin coming on the very first day of the semester so that my presence would be less jarring for students.  That first in-service day enabled me to get reacquainted with the building and I was able to begin professional networking  by meeting many of the faculty. 

The second day of my placement had me jittery with excitement.  I was going to meet my students!  Triton ran an unusual schedule that day.  The school usually has block scheduling where each class is eighty minutes in length.  However, in light of the beginning of the spring semester, all eight classes were squeezed into the same day so that the students would be able to get acquainted (or re-acquainted) with all of their teachers. Needless to say, it was a little mind blowing to meet the 100+ students that I will be working with, but I set to work immediately learning their names and memorizing their faces. Now that I am working on week four at my placement, I have succeeded in learning the names of all my students!!!

I work with all four grade levels. Ms.Harvey and I have three Honors English 1 classes [freshmen], two English 3 classes [juniors], and one Creative Writing class [a mixture of sophomores, juniors, and seniors].  With this variety, there is a lot going on!

-Our freshmen are currently at the beginning of their Shakespeare unit. They just completed a large research project over Shakespeare and Elizabethan England, and are now working on understanding the language and style of Shakespeare.  Soon, they will begin to read sonnets and then they will transition into Macbeth.  Ms. Harvey wants us to team teach Macbeth.  She will lead the reading and I will lead the activities and assessments.

- Our juniors are currently working their way through a poetry unit.  Thus far, they have explored the writings of Ezra Pound and William Carlos Williams. Next, they will begin their research project over a famous American poet which will include a literary analysis of that poet’s work. Once the research project is completed, the junior academies will begin.  These academies are designed to help prepare the students for the upcoming state reading assessment. [Mind you, this is a very simplified explanation that is meant to maintain the privacy of the school.] Once the academies are through [they will last for about four weeks], I will teach the juniors a two to three day lesson over The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot. This poem is usually taught in Honors English 3, but Ms. Harvey agreed to let me teach the poem to our juniors.  I am very excited about this upcoming lesson because I feel that the poem is something that my students will be able to find meaningful and highly scholastic.

-In Creative Writing, students are developing their skills as writers.  Thus far, students have written personal poetry, object narratives, short stories, and character templates. It’s a very interesting class that I love to be a part of.  I will not be teaching this class, but I do assist students with their writing by offering constructive commentary.

My current goals are to get focused and begin formatting formal lesson plans.  I already have tons of ideas and lots of notes scrawled in my notebook. It’s time to start bringing those visions to life. 

And the KPTP makes me feel a little queasy, but I am going to tackle that mountain one task at a time.

On-line #4: What's Happening at Redken?

I will apologize in advance for the lack of order within this post.  My neurons are firing at warp speed. There. Is. Just. So. MUCH. To. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! *collective breath*

Alright, let me just start by saying that I like Redken. They have this saying around the school: "Once a Redken, always a Redken."  I would have to agree with this school spirit motto. Although I have only experienced one semester at Redken, I know that I will carry a piece of the school inside of me for the rest of my life. The staff is full of loving people and the students are wonderful, creative individuals. I feel that my experiences with the Redken family have been a crucial part of my professional development and have intensified my passion for teaching.

My CT has been a source of support and constructive feedback. Mrs. Annette [this is NOT her real name] initially scared me a bit.  No, she is not a mean lady.  She is just very experienced and very professional which can very intimidating for an untried PST like myself.   I quickly realized that Mrs. Annette is a very caring instructor who always has the best interests of her students at heart.  Mrs. Annette is NOT one of "those teachers"; you know, the ones who show up about five minutes before the school day begins and jet out of the parking-lot at the end of the day like they're training to be the next Nascar champion. Mrs. Annette takes a great deal of pride in her role as a professional educator. She devotes a sizable amount of time to preparing meaningful lessons for her students and she regularly attends school athletic events and other extracurricular functions as a means of supporting the interests and efforts of her students. Her level of devotion is something that I respect and strive for within my own career.

My semester with Mrs. Annette has shown me a great deal about who I am as a teacher.  I have come to see my strengths and my weaknesses.  My strengths are that I am patient, determined, energetic, creative, and passionate.  My weaknesses are that I am still very inexperienced with classroom management, effective time management, lesson planning, and giving clear instructions.  Mrs. Annette assures me that these weaknesses are normal for where I am in my program; she says that time and experience will help me to improve in my trouble areas. I think that she is correct.  I have already seen a great deal of personal growth since August [the start of the fall semester] and I know that I will continue to develop my teaching skills in the months and years to follow.

In terms of the teaching that I have done this semester: I am finishing my last lesson tomorrow!  Mrs. Annette gave me the opportunity to teach a month's worth of lessons to her sophomores. I taught the vast majority of their novel [Rumble Fish] with the behind-the-scenes support of Mrs. Annette.  As a whole, my part of the unit went well.  There were several hiccups along the way [mostly minor classroom management problems], but the overall experience was good. Mrs. Annette told me that she feels that I have done a good job teaching the sophomores and that they [the students] know that I care about them and want them to learn.  I appreciated that positive feedback because I was having days where I would beat myself up over all the things that I should have done better. -- Tomorrow is the final exam over the novel.  I wrote it myself, from scratch.  It features twenty-five multiple choice questions, a short answer section, a quote section, a section on character descriptions, and three different essay prompts [students only have to write over one prompt of their choosing]. As I was writing the test, I was amazed by how LONG it took!  I seriously spent about three and a half HOURS writing the final exam.  I was very careful in my test composition.  I wanted to make sure that the questions were clear and effective.  It was this painstaking attention to detail and format that caused the test writing to take so long.  However, I must say: the product reflects the time and effort put into it.  Mrs. Annette thought that it was very well contrived [with the exception of some typos and tense error].  I spent an additional hour on the Jeopardy PowerPoint that was used as their test review and another thirty minutes on finding graphic organizers to aid in their review. -- Have you been keeping track?  That was FIVE HOURS of time spent planning two days worth of instruction.  If you do the math on that, it breaks down down to two and a half hours of planning for EACH 90 minute class period or 1.7 minutes of prep time for EACH minute of classroom instruction. And some people mock teaching as an "easy profession"...   Clearly, they lack basic math skills and common sense.

KATE Conference: Thoughts and Contemplations

I attended the KATE conference this week, an annual get-together where English teachers from all over the state gather to share different teaching strategies and communicate valuable thoughts on curriculum. This was my first year ever going and I think that the conference was a wonderful aspect within my professional development.  I got to talk to several experienced English teachers and I gained several new ideas for my future classroom. However, I also learned the value of gritting my teeth into a forced smile as I listened to the toxic words that spilled from the mouths of teachers. Snarky comments about the ideas that other educators were presenting in their sessions and rude commentary over the presence of unlicensed education majors like myself: 
"This will NEVER work.  How completely UNREALISTIC..."
"This is stupid, a complete pie-in-the-sky idea.  I mean... really?!?"
"How about giving handouts to those of us who ACTUALLY teach?"
I remember Dr. M telling us that this conference was a great opportunity to network with other teachers from various districts. She encouraged us to tell people that we are pre-student teachers set to graduate in May... I happily did so because I am proud to be a part of my school's education program and I am excited about the career that I have CHOSEN to pursue. -- I quickly realized that my PST status made me somehow less worthy in the eyes of some of the seasoned/tenured/well-established educators....  I actually had one woman who I sat next to in a session, completely blow me off as soon as she figured out that I am a TEC. She literally turned her body [shoulders,head, and torso] AWAY from me.  When she passed papers to me, she waved them in my general direction without turning towards me and kept her eyes glued to the left of her. I was sitting to her immediate right. I felt like an outsider and I think that she set the tone for my general experience. There was nothing wrong with the conference itself:  I found it to be very enriching. I was just saddened by how cold and distant some educators are.  Aren't we all a part of the same team? Our skills and levels of experience certainly vary, but we are all a part of the same overall mission.  Or are we?  I wish that I could see how some of these people teach WITHOUT them realizing that they have an audience.  I wish that I could be a fly on the wall of their classroom to witness their instructional strategies.  Are they only teaching to the 70% who "get it" without a need for additional scaffolding, leaving the 30% to flounder in a land of confusion? Are they genuinely involved or are they dispassionate? Do they love to teach or are they just rolling through a daily grind? I WANT to know these things!  I want to get inside their minds, their classrooms, their souls... so that I can take a look from the inside and maybe understand who they really are.  You know, sometimes... I just want to run through the corridors of schools across the nation, thrust open the classroom doors, and scream and scream and SCREAM until I permeate the apathy and find the passion that has been lost beneath the bureaucracy.  CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!?! Or am I just screaming alone and to no one in particular? I know that there is life out there, I see it in you: the other PSTs who learn and teach and struggle and blog along-side me.  Please, let us be the new blood that will keep education alive because (to borrow a simile from T.S. Eliot) sometimes I feel that the realm of education is "like a patient etherized upon a table." A scary thought, but an honest one.

Forgive me for this "soap-box" post. I just had to unleash the thoughts that were banging against the inside of my skull, persistent in their desire to be shared. It is not like me to take on such a somber tone, but sometimes tough feelings mess with my happy mojo.  Gotta unleash these frustrations so they don't poison me.

On a lighter note, I am having a great semester! I have finally begun to connect more with the sophomores at Redken and my unit has gone well!  I have been able to teach them for the past month! My experiences have been akin to a roller-coaster with ups and downs and crazy loops, exhilarating.  This semester has enabled me to learn a great deal about lesson planning, time management, and classroom management.  Things were a little rocky at first, but I have found a deeper sense of confidence in my abilities as an educator. I may have found my "brighter day".

On-line Reflection #3: On the Road to a "Brighter Day"

So much is happening at Redken!  The biggest thing is that I start teaching tomorrow. * Woot! * I will be teaching six chapters from S.E. Hinton’s novel Rumble Fish. [If the name S.E. Hinton sounds familiar, it’s because she also wrote The Outsiders.]  The novel is about teenage street gangs in the 1960’s.  The major themes of the novel include: isolation, poverty, and violence.  I must say that it’s a fabulous read. Hinton is a very clear writer who does not use a great deal of ornamentation; she is short, sweet, and to the point.

            Although I am very excited about teaching Rumble Fish, I did have some brief moments of turbulence while creating my lesson plans.  The issue with Rumble Fish is that it’s actually a novella because it is only 135 pages in length.  One would assume that it would be easier to teach a shorter piece of reading, but I feel that shorter pieces are harder in terms of generating learning activities.  After a great deal of thought and consideration, along with some suggestions from my CT, I was able to create instruction for six 90 minute class periods.  I included the graphic organizers  (fold-ables) that my CT had already implemented and added critical reading questions for each chapter, three writing prompts, a written prediction, a written reading response, and a Bio-poem for Rusty-James [the main character].  My CT approved my lessons and I already have all of my handouts prepped and ready to go!

            Through the course of my preparation, I also discovered that one absolutely must be FLEXIBLE in the world of education. One must be ready to relocate scheduled activities or sometimes eliminate activities so that there is time to do a more important task.  I experienced this need for flexibility TODAY.  My CT told me that I needed to add 30 to 45 minutes of LEXACON time to my lesson for Thursday (tomorrow).  In order to make this happen, I had to eliminate two writing prompts and move my students’ Writing Workshop (for a previous technical writing assignment) to another class period. It was a simple tweak to two separate days and I made it work.  This experience taught me how important it is to be ready for adjustment.  LEXACON [the special reading intervention software that my sophomores are piloting to help improve their reading scores] is far more important than a brief writing prompt.  That ability to analyze activity value and make adjustments on the fly was a huge strength that I was pleased to discover that I possess.

           

            As a way to gently ease me into my role as the teacher, my CT had me teach the students for a class period and write a quiz over chapters one through four of Rumble Fish.  Leading the reading and discussion for the day went very well.  The quiz that I wrote did not go as well.  Most of my students scored in the C, D, and F range.  I chose to make the quiz in a short answer format because I wanted to have a firm grasp on what my students KNOW and REMEMBER from the text.  I was upset by the fact that most of my students could not recall some of the most basic aspects of the text.  I know that this lack of recall was due to a lack of reading.  This particular class has a great deal of absences so many of the students are behind in their reading.  I sympathize with this obstacle, but only up until a certain point.  Redken has a specified part of every school day that is set aside for students to study and catch up on missed assignments.  Students have the opportunity to go to their English class and catch up on their Rumble Fish reading; I am also positive that my CT would allow her students to take a copy of the novel home over the weekend if they needed to.  Thus, my frustrations are at the lack of initiative that I see in some of my students.

            In an attempt at a second chance, I allowed my students to make corrections to their quizzes for half credit.  Meaning that if they missed 10 points, they can earn back 5. This gave them an opportunity to increase their scores by an ENTIRE letter grade.  I had a hand-full of students who utilized the twenty minutes that I gave them to make their corrections.  I even told them that I would HELP them find the page number that the answer to each question was on…. And I STILL only had a few takers. I was really angry. The quiz was worth 32 points and could have helped their grade in the class.  I simply don’t understand the lack of interest in academic progress.

            I can sympathize with other PSTs [such as Mr. Burge] who are facing a similar struggle.  How do I reach my students?  How do I get them excited or at least interested in learning? I agonize over these questions and I keep rolling because I know that even though I have not found the answers yet, I will come to a successful conclusion some day.

“If you can make it through the night, there’s a better day.”

- Tupac

"Excuse Me, Miss"

Excuse me, Miss—

I couldn’t help but overhear

Your arbitrary commentary

About Hispanic girls and

Teen pregnancy.

You said that the culture

Feeds breeding

Through the imagery of

The Madonna

And the Prostitute.

I felt like a drowning victim.

Helpless: So helpless.

Grasping for something to hold on to;

Knowing that I may perish

In this maelstrom of words.

Mind screaming,

Overwhelmed.

Do I fight against the current

Of your ignorance?

Do I let it stand?

My mouth opens.

I speak simple words

To politely inform you

Of my proud heritage and my

Teen mom status.

No doubt,

Feeding into your stereotype.

When you failed to apologize,

I let it slide.

And as you walked away

Those words left unspoken

Screamed their fury

Along the corridors of my mind.

I am Latina!

Or “White Hispanic” if you must dispute

My complexion.

No, I was not raised in “the culture,”

But the blood runs deep

And roots don’t lie.

I am mother to a child

Conceived on a basement couch

At seventeen.

And no, it was NOT an accident…

But it became she

And she is beautiful.

Dark honey curls and

Shrill laughter.

My “happily ever after”.

And I am so tired of the

Mainstream banter

That tells me

How to see myself.

How dare you generalize,

Marginalize,

And despise

Other women?

Between our hips lies

The cradle of civilization.

Black, White, Brown, Yellow

Or any shade in between;

We are the keepers of life

And dreams.

So how dare you spill your hate?!!

And how dare I

Let you walk away…?

----------

I am posting this because the racist comments that triggered this poem came out of the mouth of a future teacher. God help us and our children.

Genere Reflection #1: Freeverse Poetry

To Teach, Or Not To Teach?

To teach, or not to teach?

 That is the question – 

And after witnessing your prickly display

 With your substitute last week, 

I may or may not be on the fence.

Is it nobler to take up your novel 

And succumb to literary tyranny

Or fight against this outrage

To preserve your concept of “respect”?

To sit, to read, to implore…. 

Or to stage a mutiny upon the classroom floor?

I see the agony of the choice color your brow.

The dilemma is intense.

After all, this little biddy is so out-of-touch, 

She probably thinks that Pluto is still a planet.

Dammit! You won’t take that tone.

Not from your homeboy,

Not from that cute blonde in first period, 

And certainly not from a senior citizen in a mauve cardigan!

You are “livid” – Erm…. That is: 

Enraged, mad as a hornet, or, if you prefer:

Pissed….

You feel like you’ve been dissed 

And there is nothing worse in your world 

Than disrespect.

So you let her have it!

You pile upon her shoulders the anger 

That has built throughout your academic life.

She is the enemy;

Annihilation is key.

In her face, you see 

All the people who let you down,

The disparity of your race, 

And the frustration of your troubled youth.

Can I give you a word of advice?

Stop seeing “the man” in every pale face;

Start seeing the potential in your own.

Stop frontin’.

Harness your passion; 

Put your tough mind into action. 

“Every problem you had before this day

Is now done.”¹

Has no one told you?

You are the Master of your Fate.

So put your big-kid pants on.

You’ve only got to deal with this lady

For another forty minutes.

Whereas, I will maneuver such episodes

For another forty years.

No, I’m not crazy.

Or maybe I am.

Would me having a questionable mental state

Beseech you to behave?

I’m kidding!

But really, sit down.

Page 20—

We’ve got text to dissect. 

^{1 A direct quote from the song “From Murder to Excellence” by Kanye West.}

^{This piece regards a heated moment between one of my freshmen boys and a substitute teacher.}  

Tips for Coping with Stress and Maintaining Something that Resembles Sanity

Thanks for the love, ladies!

More news about Lexicon will definitely come as I gain more experience with the program. My CT will introduce the program to me at the same time that she introduces it to her students.  I have had experience with similar programs in the past and I am sure that I will catch on quickly.  Any issues that would arise would probably be due to log-ins that do not work or a technology glitch.  Having extra equipment available and the ability to create new log-ins would remedy those issues.

Yes, I have a lot on my plate, but I have been doing this for the past three years so my mind and body have adjusted. However, I have discovered that my biggest stress relief tips include:

- Know when to stop and rest!  There have been times when I have run myself down so badly that I have literally passed out on my keyboard while writing papers [Example: Core I FERs; I still shudder]. If you are that far gone, go to bed!  No one does good work when they are exhausted; that paper will still be there in the morning.

- Realize that caffeine is actually the enemy. Since I recently weened myself off of my morning coffee addiction, I have discovered that I am more alert and more energetic. Seriously!  Too much caffeine puts your body into panic mode and causes you to feel more stressed. The sweaty palms, racing mind, and pounding heartbeat may be due to that cup of Seattle's Best and not your 680 article review.

- Plan ahead.  Sounds lame and obvious, but it will save you from mindlessly popping ibuprofen as you fight to crank out a last minute assignment.  I keep a day planner where I write down every thing that I must do and when it must be done by.  This keeps my mind focused on what must be done and it actually makes me feel more secure because I feel like I have a clear agenda.

- Take time to reconnect with yourself. I have moments spaced throughout the week when I get to just enjoy myself. A quick episode of a favorite television show, sneaking in a few chapters of recreational reading, ten minutes of peace with my journal, etc. Let's just say that these moments of solitude are what I live for most days and they are more meaningful because they are limited.

- Turn on the radio!  I am always rushing all around town to get to all the places where I have to be [i.g, baby's daycare, my PST placement, school, and work]. Music fills that mundane time with joy.  I actually look forward to my commute because I know that it will be uninterrupted jam time.  The music leaves me feeling rejuvenated when I reach my destination.

- Detox your life.  If you are in a stressful relationship or environment, leave. Get rid of the poisonous aspects of your life and you will feel lighter and happier.  I realized this after two and a half years in an abusive romantic relationship.  When I finally realized that my partner was the source of about 80% of the stress in my life, I got out quick and I never looked back; my life is much happier and my stress is more manageable as a result. 

- Keep a reasonably clean house.   It has been scientifically proven that cluttered/dirty homes cause mental chaos. If you walk into a messy environment, your brain immediately feels stressed.  I am not saying that your home needs to look like a museum; it just needs to be tidy enough for you to walk in and feel a surge of joy to be home. No one wants to come home to heaps of laundry and sandy carpet.

- Smile. A. Lot. : )  Smiling releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel GOOD.  Think of smiles as Mother Nature's crack.... Only without the astronomical cost, the hideous side effects, and the illicit status. I smile so much on stressful days that my face actually hurts.

- Be passionate about what you are doing. I would not be able to do all that I do if I did not want it so badly. You can't fake your way to success.   You have to really love what you are striving for. In my case, I feel strongly about being a good parent, a good worker, a good teacher, and a good friend.  As a result, I am successful because I put so much of myself into all that I do.

I hope that my stress tips are helpful.  Feel free to share your own tips with me.